Whom we're gonna sing Thai National song to?

243 years ago, a kingdom of Ayuthaya was burned by Burmese army.



Things that were left behide is historical remains and stories of conflicts of two kingdoms for younger generations to be regret and learn thru what war and conflict left behide.

Nothing but tragedy...

Somehow history class in school is not longer important since we never learn anything, moreover, we let the similar things happen again.





Sadly, it is not between two kingdoms or countries as in the past.

It is even sadder when it happens among people in the same country.







I am talking about my home country.... Thailand.









Along 78 years after political reform of the absolute monarchy, there were many political crises.

Mostly, the reasons of the protest are to ask for the real democracy.

Lately, during this decade, the purpose of the protest seems different....






Is it to overcome?

Is it to get back someone's adventages?

Is it to take back what someone has lost?

Is it to announce who really is the winner?

As trying to catch up the situation in my home country, I stun; I am sad; and I no longer wonder why the country which Vietnam wants to compete with is not Thailand, but Singkapore.




I have nothing to say much since I did not really catch up the political situation and what is going on as when I was in college and, mostly, it is too complicated for me to describe in English.




At the moment, I don't pick any sides and I don't prefer wearing any colour shirt.

Pictures from www.manager.co.th

All I know is...


People who fight, whatever side they are, are Thai.

People who shot are Thai.

People who were shot are Thai.

People who burned the city are Thai.

People who died are Thai.

When we fight each other for nothing... but to laugh at another ones and announce that we are the winner even though we are in the same nation, what we're gonna be happy for?

Is it important that whoever would win when the loser is not anyone else,

but it is us, Thai people?

Pictures from www.manager.co.th

When we protest for nothing but to show the world how cruel we are and make the nation go backward,

what we would tell our younger genertions about the things that is happening?




And whom we're gonna sing Thai National song to?

No girl does not like flowers.

A vase of flowers was delivered to the place I stay this morning.

No need to be surprised, I obviously knew that they were not mine since I saw the delivery guy holding the flowers stood at the door.

"He's sweet." I told my host lady when she told me whom she has got the flower from.

"He should be sweet more often." She replied and laughed.








"No girl does not like flowers." I once told a guy.

It was not a clue to tell him what I wanted or expected him to do since I knew his sweetness level and I kinda understood that guys could be thickheaded.

I never expected the guy to buy me flowers or anything. I told him straightly that I prefered a big seafood dinner than a bouquet.







But

Do I ever wish?







As I said, there's no girl does not like flowers, especially if it's from her boyfriend.







One day, the guy asked me if I wanted flowers from him sometimes.

"That would be very sweet of you." I smiley replied.

As being so sweet, he took me to a flower shop near my house and said,

"Pick one"







Well,

somehow you can tell how sweet he was, can't you?







However, for almost 7 years we were together, I have got flowers from him a few times.

One was on Valentine's day.

Another one was on our 5 years anniversary day.

Another one was when he showed up at my door to apologize something.







One day, he challenged me by getting me a plant and had me taken care of it.

"They say if you can take care of plant, you are good at taking care of love and your relationship." He told me.

Unfortunately, the plant was with me only a few months and decided to leave its dry-sometimes-and-soaking-sometimes life behide.

Is it a clue to say how I lost my ex relationship?







For almost 4 months, since I have moved my bottom and two luggages to uncle Sam's land, there is a guy comes into my life.

The same as every guys, I never expect him to be sweet to me although he is more special than the others since we sometimes hug and hold hands.





It took me by surprise when he held my hand and then I found a flower.

A torn flattened-by-sitting-on Buttercup

"It's not good for mom, so I give it to you." The little guy said when he saw me was looking at it.

Well.... allow me to repeat to myself again....

"There's no girl does not like flowers........"

At a point where no one can see...

Underneathe the same sky,

while the sun is shining gently over the ground,

I wake up here;

you wake up there.

As I am turning to the west,

and as you are turning to the east,

do you think at a point, where no one can see,

we will see each other?

When you go to bed tonight,

I wish you sleep tight.

Somehow life will last long,

or it is just like a-second-shine-bright meteor.




Thus...

as you are awake in every single day,

as you are asleep in every single night,

as we are under the same sky, underneathe the same sunlight,

I always am here and smile for you.

Win Lotto with a guy's words

"Do you want me to pick you up?"

There's a guy always asked me this question.



I know he's not sweet type and to hear sweet words from him is like you win Lottery. But, some times, I wish I would hear something surprising.



One day, I went to my friend's place. Before I knew it, it already got dark and I had no idea how to get home.

"Do you want me to pick you up?" The same old question was asked from the guy.

"Is it OK? Would you mind driving me home?" I asked.

"Wait there," he said.



After getting in his car and being scolded for why I didn't leave there before the sun set, I could see his worries about my safety obviously. However, before he realized, I already felt bad, guilt because the way he said sounded like I have done a big mistake, and paled.

I said Thank You, kissed his cheek as I usually did, and got off his car quietly when we reached my home.



You know what?

I really don't like this feeling....



Once again, I had to work late at night at my friend's place.

My phone rang; I picked up; and I realized I was about to be asked the same old question.



"Do you want me to..."

"Dear," I interupted.

"Would you mind saying this?" I continued. "Can I pick you up and drive you home?"



I know it's not different be the meaning, which is "I will pick you up, OK?"

But for me, it caused different feeling.



As being a sweet type, he replied me,

"Stay there. I will pick you up."



Nothing else I would want to do but only smiled for his trying.

Well...... this is a guy I know for 10 years and had been being in relationship for almost 7 years.











Not long time ago,

there's another guy I know.



I know he has no idea at all about how different words he uses affect my different feelings.

When we hang out together, I always hear him says, "You can come, Khwan."



As knowing him on some level, I know that is an invitation.

And as knowing what he orginally is, I do not expect him any sweet words from him.





Somehow I underestimate this guy??





While I was deciding not to join a dinner with a group of people, this little guy ran to me.

He held my hand and told me something I never ever thought I would hear from him.



"Can you come?

I want to sit by you when we have dinner."



While I was stunning because of unexpected words he said, he said a magic word,



"Please, Kwhan, please."



Suddenly, it sounded like my name was announced as the one who won Mega Million Lotto just because I was invited by a hidden-sweet-type guy to a steakhouse.

My Valentine

"What day is today?" I asked.

"Wednesday," he replied.

That was an answer I got on Valentine's day in the year of 2006.





Valentine's day, 2007

3 dozens of white roses were delivered to my apartment with a tiny card written,

"You have no idea how sweet you are.

Thank you for being my valentine."





Valentine's day, 2008

Pinkish orange roses were in a vase on my desk.

"Whom you've got them from?" my mom asked when she saw the roses.

"I bought them for myself." I replied.





In 2009,

I forgot that there's Valentine's day.

:P

Actually, on the day of love, Valentine's day, I don't feel any thing special.

For me, it is just an ordinary day. I don't really expect anything from anyone although Ionce was impress with the roses I have got from someone and it made a very big smile lasted on my face for a couple weeks.

All I do on this day is just to enjoy atmosphere around, and give a big smile when I see anyone holds flowers. When I was in highschool, I would prepare some tiny heart stickers to stick them on my friends' student uniform collars just to have fun.

And that's it... That's what my Valentine's day is like.






Valentine's day, 2010

I celebrated the day with my foriegn friends by exchanging some chocolate and hanging out among the crowd in China town, NYC, together.

Valentine's day in China town...

Actually, they were celebrating Lunar New Year. :P

This is what I could see....

Not lion dancing parade, not any shows, not any roses, nothing...

but black heads of people around...

After taking hours to walk thru NYC, my friends and I finally reached to Times Square.

Share a kiss in Times Square??

With whom??

Valentine's day confession....

I tried to find my valentine in NYC on this day.

As realizing it was not that easy to find one...., after hours and hours walking,

I finally found my valentine!

Already miss the sign...

What do you do when you find that you get to somewhere farther than your expected destination?

What do you do when you come farther than you thought?




Will you turn back?

Or will you keep going although you have no idea where you're going to?




I always clumsily go through my expected destination. No matter it is driving, walking or any other ways, I often pass the point I planned to get to accidentally.

Luckily, I finally noticed some signs before it would get me trouble.

What I do is to follow the sign, turn back to the way I have used to get to the point I firstly mean to go.









Currently, it seems I am driving to somewhere where I have no idea what, where, when, and how the end is.

I am not sure whether I should take this path or not and no idea at all where this path would lead me to.

Actually, I see yellow trafic light which tells me to slow down. But for original Thai, we take it as "step on the hammer and go faster." Since I am Thai... but already stay in the USA, I am not sure if i should slow down or keep going.

While I was wondering, before I knew it, I realize I already come too far.

A statement of my best friend is like the red light, reminding me to try to less speed and stop while I hesitate if I want to do it.





Do I want to stop?

Definitely not!



But, well....

I don't want a ticket.

Somehow I should limit my speed since I think I am going too fast?

I know so far I am too far and I realize I already pass the point I should be. But since I am not a good driver and I often miss the signs, and well, driving in the USA is kinda confusing for me right now, you think I should turn back?

Or stop somehow?

What makes a family?

What does a word FAMILY mean?




When I was young, I always heard that a family contains a father, a mother, and kids.

When I grew up, then I learned to know that, in a family, there doesn't have to be dad, mom and me.

My definition of FAMILY changed to be something else which is verbally unexplainable, but can be explained by heart.





Currently, I am with a great family.

Why great? It's not because of their economic status like house, cars, jobs, or else.

What I see in this family is a sweet couple. The parents are nice and sweet to each other. They are partners; always share opinions and encourage each other. They are humourous and patient to their kids but strict at the same time.





When I look at the mother, I see a great woman.

She's active, kind, understanding and calm person. She always is patient with the kids and finds some time to spend with each kid equally.

"Tired?" I asked her.

"Always," she answered. Although that was I got as her answer, but I always see her smile and laugh with the kids.





As looking at her, I wonder if I could be like her if I would ever have my own kids.





Then, the father,

He's the only one to work in this family. Though I heard he said he's tired with his work every evenings during dinner time, I always see him runs to the kids every times he gets back, encourages his wife when the kids wear her out and help her taking care of them.

What I like in him is that he doesn't put burden about the kids only on his wife's shoulders, but he doesn't mind to jump to help whenever the kids get her in trouble.
These are differences I see in some family I know.As looking at him, I wonder if my future husband could be like this.






After spending all of my life to see people around, I picture what my own family would be.

But anyway, all I wish to get from my boyfriend is only do not ever leave me deal with my life alone, give me hand, and encourage me whenever I feel discouraged.

And if my boyfriend would ever turn to be a father, fatherhood would happen itself once he knows there would be a new life which is a part of his life.

If that situation would ever happen in my life, I am excited to see how a guy turn to be a father.






I talk nonesense, you think?

Well... before I dream away about my boyfriend, husband, or even great father of my kids,

now, I should find that guy first.