Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Summer....

As the cold wind blows itself to somewhere else, the sun shines and the weather is getting warmer and warmer, I often croon one of my favorite song.





Summer has come and past....

The innocent can never last....









As I feel burned on my shoulders, I think it is a sign to let me know that the summer already arrives here.
















When I was young, summer, for me, meant school holiday and beaches.



My cousins and I were waiting for this school break and looking forward to visit my uncle and aunt where their house was near the beach.







We all enjoyed our summer time since our skin turned tan, to cocoa tone, and until it peeled off.






Nothing to say much. We waited for no-school time, family activities, beaches, and road trips with our beloved uncle and aunt.

So we would scream out loud.









"We love summer!"



















Now I am here in the USA.

I think I can tell how different it feels between the summer in my home country and the summer here.

Actually, since I have chance to see the different of season in the USA, I can say that summer is always there in Thailand for the whole year. But summer in the USA is really summer -- hot weather, beaches, sunny days, outdoor activities, and sun-bathing people.






Although I just have gone thru freezing wind and very-cold season which called winter, so I can tell how great warm weather is, and I am told that I should enjoy this period of the year and the summer sun,

but since my schedule is changed which means... less rest and free time, outdoor (almost every) days.... , and, well.........., school break, throughout summer until the labour day...








I am once again gonna sing the song....




Wake me up when September ends
..........., PLEASE!!





Friday, May 28, 2010

Learn from Ryan

You should have seen Ryan's face when he knew the truth.





Ryan Bingham was a busy guy. His job kept him busy so that he could find very little time to stay home. He traveled 270 days a yesr, mostly, he spent his time on the plane and hotel all over the USA. But, on the other hand, the job returned him a great life.

Ryan knew perfectly what to do when he went on a plane. He knew what to do in every steps just like it is routine schedule. His hobby is to collect mileages and, finally, he has got ten million miles and a platinum card to fly free anywhere in the world he wanted.

He said in his conference that we all had a backpack. We got people around us into that backpack. He then told people in his conference to feel the weight of that bag and making no mistake in one's relationships are the heaviest components in one's live.





He finally said the slower we move the faster we die.





So I kinda wonder if he loved these stuffs, I mean his work, and turned his back to any relationship? Or was it because he did not want anyone to share any moments with?





That is why he still was single?





But maybe not?

Since he once said, "If you think about it, your favorite memories, the most important moments in your life... were you alone? Life's better with company."





On the day he found himself could not stand on the stage and talk about trying not to take the relationship as a weight in one's life. He suddenly left the conference and catched a flight just to see a woman who he thought he was a part of her life and wanted to be with.






The truth knocked Ryan out when Alex opened the door and Ryan could see two boys ran up on stairs behide her and called her mom.




They never talked about their relationship and never defined what they were.

Alex told Ryan that their relationship was perfectly clear since the beginning. They were attracted to each other. They talked on the phone often. They spent some time together when they were free. They got along very well, either conversation or sex.

But they never talked about neither progression nor possibility in their reletionship.




So, when Alex said that he was a break from their normal life, it was when Ryan finally decided to move on.










There are various relationships in human life.

Some are simple ones, while some are complicated.




Sometimes, for some relationship, to let it be is the best?

While for some other ones, to figure out what position you are is better?




I know I am talking nonsense.

But I really don't understand something...

Somehow I am too young?

Somehow I am from another side of the world, so I have to adjust my attitude?

Somehow I have to learn more?





When trying to define what you are is getting yourself hurt, so somehow, knowing nothing and being chilled with what is going on in your life are better?

When the more you try to figure out, the more you put yourself in suffering moment, so why you have to rush to drive yourself into the corner.

In this case, I'd rather feel nothing than being anxious.





Ryan's face expression when he's standing at Alex's door told me something.

When the truth is projected behide the door you are standing at, then you realize you are not something, moreover, you even see perfectly that you do not have any rights to do anything you want.

You stop, stare, and stun.

Can you tell that, although without you, the world there is still turning?





I'd rather do as Ryan did,

jumped on a flight, back home, and let the life move on.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Whom we're gonna sing Thai National song to?

243 years ago, a kingdom of Ayuthaya was burned by Burmese army.



Things that were left behide is historical remains and stories of conflicts of two kingdoms for younger generations to be regret and learn thru what war and conflict left behide.






Nothing but tragedy...














Somehow history class in school is not longer important since we never learn anything, moreover, we let the similar things happen again.





Sadly, it is not between two kingdoms or countries as in the past.

It is even sadder when it happens among people in the same country.







I am talking about my home country.... Thailand.









Along 78 years after political reform of the absolute monarchy, there were many political crises.

Mostly, the reasons of the protest are to ask for the real democracy.




Lately, during this decade, the purpose of the protest seems different....






Is it to overcome?

Is it to get back someone's adventages?

Is it to take back what someone has lost?

Is it to announce who really is the winner?




As trying to catch up the situation in my home country, I stun; I am sad; and I no longer wonder why the country which Vietnam wants to compete with is not Thailand, but Singkapore.




I have nothing to say much since I did not really catch up the political situation and what is going on as when I was in college and, mostly, it is too complicated for me to describe in English.




At the moment, I don't pick any sides and I don't prefer wearing any colour shirt.






Pictures from www.manager.co.th

All I know is...


People who fight, whatever side they are, are Thai.

People who shot are Thai.

People who were shot are Thai.

People who burned the city are Thai.

People who died are Thai.





When we fight each other for nothing... but to laugh at another ones and announce that we are the winner even though we are in the same nation, what we're gonna be happy for?

Is it important that whoever would win when the loser is not anyone else,

but it is us, Thai people?






Pictures from www.manager.co.th



When we protest for nothing but to show the world how cruel we are and make the nation go backward,

what we would tell our younger genertions about the things that is happening?




And whom we're gonna sing Thai National song to?


Thursday, May 20, 2010

No girl does not like flowers.

A vase of flowers was delivered to the place I stay this morning.











No need to be surprised, I obviously knew that they were not mine since I saw the delivery guy holding the flowers stood at the door.

"He's sweet." I told my host lady when she told me whom she has got the flower from.

"He should be sweet more often." She replied and laughed.








"No girl does not like flowers." I once told a guy.

It was not a clue to tell him what I wanted or expected him to do since I knew his sweetness level and I kinda understood that guys could be thickheaded.

I never expected the guy to buy me flowers or anything. I told him straightly that I prefered a big seafood dinner than a bouquet.







But

Do I ever wish?







As I said, there's no girl does not like flowers, especially if it's from her boyfriend.







One day, the guy asked me if I wanted flowers from him sometimes.

"That would be very sweet of you." I smiley replied.

As being so sweet, he took me to a flower shop near my house and said,

"Pick one"







Well,

somehow you can tell how sweet he was, can't you?







However, for almost 7 years we were together, I have got flowers from him a few times.

One was on Valentine's day.

Another one was on our 5 years anniversary day.

Another one was when he showed up at my door to apologize something.







One day, he challenged me by getting me a plant and had me taken care of it.

"They say if you can take care of plant, you are good at taking care of love and your relationship." He told me.










Unfortunately, the plant was with me only a few months and decided to leave its dry-sometimes-and-soaking-sometimes life behide.

Is it a clue to say how I lost my ex relationship?







For almost 4 months, since I have moved my bottom and two luggages to uncle Sam's land, there is a guy comes into my life.

The same as every guys, I never expect him to be sweet to me although he is more special than the others since we sometimes hug and hold hands.





It took me by surprise when he held my hand and then I found a flower.






A torn flattened-by-sitting-on Buttercup




"It's not good for mom, so I give it to you." The little guy said when he saw me was looking at it.



Well.... allow me to repeat to myself again....

"There's no girl does not like flowers........"




Friday, April 23, 2010

At a point where no one can see...




Underneathe the same sky,

while the sun is shining gently over the ground,

I wake up here;

you wake up there.




As I am turning to the west,

and as you are turning to the east,

do you think at a point, where no one can see,

we will see each other?




When you go to bed tonight,

I wish you sleep tight.

Somehow life will last long,

or it is just like a-second-shine-bright meteor.




Thus...

as you are awake in every single day,

as you are asleep in every single night,

as we are under the same sky, underneathe the same sunlight,



I always am here and smile for you.

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Win Lotto with a guy's words

"Do you want me to pick you up?"

There's a guy always asked me this question.



I know he's not sweet type and to hear sweet words from him is like you win Lottery. But, some times, I wish I would hear something surprising.



One day, I went to my friend's place. Before I knew it, it already got dark and I had no idea how to get home.

"Do you want me to pick you up?" The same old question was asked from the guy.

"Is it OK? Would you mind driving me home?" I asked.

"Wait there," he said.



After getting in his car and being scolded for why I didn't leave there before the sun set, I could see his worries about my safety obviously. However, before he realized, I already felt bad, guilt because the way he said sounded like I have done a big mistake, and paled.

I said Thank You, kissed his cheek as I usually did, and got off his car quietly when we reached my home.



You know what?

I really don't like this feeling....



Once again, I had to work late at night at my friend's place.

My phone rang; I picked up; and I realized I was about to be asked the same old question.



"Do you want me to..."

"Dear," I interupted.

"Would you mind saying this?" I continued. "Can I pick you up and drive you home?"



I know it's not different be the meaning, which is "I will pick you up, OK?"

But for me, it caused different feeling.



As being a sweet type, he replied me,

"Stay there. I will pick you up."



Nothing else I would want to do but only smiled for his trying.

Well...... this is a guy I know for 10 years and had been being in relationship for almost 7 years.











Not long time ago,

there's another guy I know.



I know he has no idea at all about how different words he uses affect my different feelings.

When we hang out together, I always hear him says, "You can come, Khwan."



As knowing him on some level, I know that is an invitation.

And as knowing what he orginally is, I do not expect him any sweet words from him.





Somehow I underestimate this guy??





While I was deciding not to join a dinner with a group of people, this little guy ran to me.

He held my hand and told me something I never ever thought I would hear from him.



"Can you come?

I want to sit by you when we have dinner."



While I was stunning because of unexpected words he said, he said a magic word,



"Please, Kwhan, please."



Suddenly, it sounded like my name was announced as the one who won Mega Million Lotto just because I was invited by a hidden-sweet-type guy to a steakhouse.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

My Valentine

"What day is today?" I asked.

"Wednesday," he replied.

That was an answer I got on Valentine's day in the year of 2006.





Valentine's day, 2007

3 dozens of white roses were delivered to my apartment with a tiny card written,

"You have no idea how sweet you are.

Thank you for being my valentine."





Valentine's day, 2008

Pinkish orange roses were in a vase on my desk.

"Whom you've got them from?" my mom asked when she saw the roses.

"I bought them for myself." I replied.





In 2009,

I forgot that there's Valentine's day.

:P









Actually, on the day of love, Valentine's day, I don't feel any thing special.

For me, it is just an ordinary day. I don't really expect anything from anyone although Ionce was impress with the roses I have got from someone and it made a very big smile lasted on my face for a couple weeks.

All I do on this day is just to enjoy atmosphere around, and give a big smile when I see anyone holds flowers. When I was in highschool, I would prepare some tiny heart stickers to stick them on my friends' student uniform collars just to have fun.

And that's it... That's what my Valentine's day is like.






Valentine's day, 2010

I celebrated the day with my foriegn friends by exchanging some chocolate and hanging out among the crowd in China town, NYC, together.






Valentine's day in China town...

Actually, they were celebrating Lunar New Year. :P







This is what I could see....

Not lion dancing parade, not any shows, not any roses, nothing...

but black heads of people around...









After taking hours to walk thru NYC, my friends and I finally reached to Times Square.






Share a kiss in Times Square??


With whom??






Valentine's day confession....

I tried to find my valentine in NYC on this day.

As realizing it was not that easy to find one...., after hours and hours walking,








I finally found my valentine!