Well........
To anyone who read this post... I'd say that you're totally lucky to read it since I
NEVER EVER had any idea at all of talking or writing about my project.
It may be too long but.... well.... know that having chance to read this is like you'd won the lotto. :-P
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After only 3 hours that I fell asleep when everyone was just awake, I woke up again around 9 am. (Right..... I went to bed when the sun rised -- 6 o'clock in the morning.)
I have slept around this time for about a couple weeks since I've got a call from a woman who introduced herself that she's from The Department of Mental Health, Ministry of Public Health of Thailand.
After I've hung up the call..... I realized that I'd be in trouble.
There's a condition made by my university that the reseach of MD students must be published, then we can get our degrees. The good news is.... this rule is just firstly imposed on my generation. That means my seniors don't need to get headache although they can't find anyplace to distribute their thesis.
Yeah.... I knew that this was a chance for me to publish my thesis..... But you know what? I just felt like I wasn't ready for it.... plus.... I didn't think that my work was any interesting.
The woman on the phone told me that my abstract was selected to join the exhibition which they call the excellent research about mental health among Thai peaople or something like that. My brain was blurred suddenly. I twice asked her if she called the right number or read the right researcher name. After she's ensured me, I then knew that I had to draft the rest chapters of my thesis and make a presentation as soon as possible.
The problem was.......... several minutes before the woman, my friend's called to ask if I wanted to join her a trip to Phu Soi Dao
(for more information --> www.thaiforestbooking.com/np_home.asp?npid=193&lg=2) and I heard myself told her that, "Great!! I'm in."
So.... I had not much time to prepare everything. That's why I've slept early morning for about a few weeks and felt like I totally was a zombie as one of my penpal calls me.
The sooner the time came, the more I was stressed and nervous. I found that my hair fell which was a sign of being too stressed and my face skin turned dried and brightless. And... well.... my mom even said that I looked older than I always was!!
After I came back from my trip, I had only 2 days to prepared my data and had to ask for some advice from my advisor. I was surprised when I heard one of my advisor who's a doctor that's expert in pediatrics and adolescent medicine said that there's some quite interesting issues in my research. (Well, I heard a voice in my head said, "Oh? Really? Nahhhh.... I don't think so.... Are you kidding me??")
Then... I had only a night to make my presentation and dry run.... That was the last night....
This morning, I woke up, brushed my teeth, showered, wore 1-cm.-thick make up, formal suit, high heels and got ready.
Hmmm.... where's my breakfast?? Oh!! I just notice that I forgot to have breakfast!!
Then I got to a mall not too far from my place where the conference was. In this mall, there's a section for a large conference or even a concert on the top floor. I walked to the registration desk and asked where I could register and prepare my presentation. A woman at the desk looked at me, pointed her finger to another desk and said..... "This desk is for MD student and professor to sign. The desk for highschool student is over there."
I thought to myself.... I even wore make up, suit and heels.... Didn't I look old enough to be an MD student??
Finally, I found the room which my research topic had to be presented there. It's a large room which could contain about 500 people. While I was signing my name on a schedule, I found that the queue was changed. The woman on the phone told me that I was the 11th but on this schedule.... I was the first..... and it'd start within only an hour.
While people were getting in the room, the seats were fulled and extra seats were moved in, I took a deep breath and held it for a second. Then thought about how many days and nights I was stressed, nervous and didn't sleep enough, my terrible face, my fallen hair and the old-look outfit I was in (anyway, I was sure that I was the youngest there), then I thought about how it'd be easier to graduate if I could get through this situation......
Fine!! I had nothing to lose!
"Just make it done, 'Lisa!!," I've told myself before I walked to the podium.
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I walked out the room with mix feelings....
I was amazed that there's a lot of people interested in my research, still amazed how I could get that loud claps. I was surprised that there're no hard questions as I've been nervous about I might not find answers for them. I felt like.... "Oh? That's it? Did I really finish my presentation?" Also.... I felt like my brain didn't work well..... I've lost too much nerves because of not enough sleep.
On the way from the room to a bus stop to catch the bus back home, there's my mom's favorite ice-cream shop. If you know me well, you'd know that I sometimes avoid ice-cream since it'd make me have upset stomach. On the other hand, I sometimes throw my nervousness about stomachache away and jump to sweet'n sour sorbet and green tea ice-cream.
This time... I rewarded myself for that I didn't fall asleep while presenting my project with this.
A large-size glass of green-tea-flavored milk shake.
I was hoping to back home and take a long nap after I got this milk shake.... But then I found myself run in the mall to find restroom, instead.
During these past days I've disappeared, I have many things to write and share you. But before those posts, give me time to catch up my sleep!
Oops, too far to see how they wire up.
