A Girl's Question

Every mornings, when I open my room door and walk out there,

there's a little girl is always sitting on her chair at a dining table.

She turns to me and says the same thing almost every mornings,

"Oh, Hi, Khwan!"



I reply her the same sentence she says to me, "Oh, Hi Gracie!"



Instead of asking if I slept well last night, she then asks me the same question every times,



"Khwan, what are you doing here?"



I laugh every times I hear that

and always tell her that I come here to hang out with her.







But.....

recently,

for some reasons,




instead of laughing and telling her that,

I only smile to her and turn my face to a counter to prepare her breakfast quietly

while a question is spinning in my mind.



It is my first time here to ask myself this question...




What am I doing here?

Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I have my own life here.

I realize that it would be more difficult than the life I am living at the moment.

No free place to stay

No free food to eat

No free car to drive

But for me, freedom is sweeter than those stuffs.

I never think I waste my time here.

Because, at least, I have chances to get to learn many things.

For now,

I decide to go as far as I can go,

to walk as far as my legs have power to.

If there'd be day I realize that

"Alright, this is the line. This is the best I can do."

I would just turn back home.

Dream,

Live,

and Thrive

These are what I am doing.

Or, at least,

I am trying to.

By the way,

to make it fit in my situation,

I am not here to take care of kids.

I am here to find out that I don't want kids!