Languages I Speak

It is always that I spend some time to look back to things I have done and try repeating myself not to do anything that I feel regret with ever again.

Today, I've got an email from a friend. Once again, I look back to my past and have something to think over.

There's only one language I am fluent at. No wonder, obvioulsy, it is my mother language-- Thai.

Another language I have been learning to speak is English. Although I have been spending more than 20 years learning it, sadly, I still am not good at it.

Besides Thai and English, I never learn any other languages. But today, I found that, actually, there's another language I speak without knowing it.

It is Love.

This language, there's no grammar to correct, no vocabulary to remember,

but there're principles to concern.

Allow me repeat them and grade myself at the same time.

* Words of affirmation

The words "I love you," although it is hard to make me say them for the first time, but once I already mention them, prepare yourself to get bored. Because it is also hard to make me stop saying it.

For this girl, it didn't take me long to say the word "Love."

For now, I think I say them often enough to ensure the ones I love that I love them.

I give myself 8/10.

** Quality time

It says, watching TV is not quality time since focus point is not persons who are together but it is TV instead.

But I rarely watch TV. So....... watching movie is not quality time also?

We took a walk everyday when we were together.

Is eating together counted?

Well.... maybe not? Since I always pay attention to the food more than the one I am with.

I always spend time playing hide and seek with this guy.

Hmmm...... so........ looking back, I am not good at this principle.

OK............... 4/10, then.

*** Receiving gifts

Well....... it is not always that I give the ones I love gifts.

Last Christmas, I made him Santa Clause shirt.

Unfortunately, he seemed not like it.

I always think too much whenever I try to find them gifts.

Will he like this shirt? Is it really useful? Somehow he would think it's nonsense? Will he laugh at it?

Then, it often ends up with I'd better not get him that stuffs since he may not like them, but, maybe kissing him is enough?

6/10 is enough....

**** Acts of service

It is showing love by serving the one you love, for example, helping washing dish, or driving them to where they want to go.

This guy loves massage.

When we were together, I gave him massage at least twice a week.

Hmmm..... Is doing a favor called service?

How about...... 7/10?

Nope...., 6/10 is enough for me.

***** Physical touch

Nothing to say much, I rate myself 10/10!

Somehow, 10/10 is even too little?

"Hey....... be careful......" I often warned this guy.

"If you come too close, you're gonna been kissed!"

Alright,

so, my score is 34/50.

Is it C+ grade?

Well, surprisingly, looking back to what I have done, I thought I would get D or just C or something.

I have nothing to say much since Love is just like English-- it is not my mother language.

The way I learn English, to try to be good at it, I know I have to try out without concerning if the things I say correct or not. If you make mistake, you just be embarrased and laugh at it. Then you can try to correct it afterward.

But somehow Love is not like that? Once you make mistake, you may have no chance to redo it.

Then you fail and get a big red F grade stamped on your heart.

I've never got F and never want it.

Even though Thai is my native language, I still make mistakes sometimes.

I have been spending almost all my life learning English, but I still always make mistakes.

What about Love?

Do I have to spend all of my life to make it right?

HBD to Pleng

Last weekend, my friend, Aor, and I made a surprise to a friend, Pleng, to celebrate her early birthday.


Nothing much we could do, but we had Pleng made Thai dish for her own birthday without her realized.


What a plan for celebration, huh? :P

Thai dish to celebrate birthday

made by the birthday owner.

We tried to make it perfect....

But when I was putting the candles into birthday cake,

I found that I ruined the plan....

by celebrating retirement instead of birthday!

So I threw the wrong ones away.

There the (cup) cake(s) came....

Only HAPPY candle were enough.

For the rest, we let HBD song led the way.

Cheers!!

Wish you happy birthday,

happy with your life

and all the things turn great for you

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

PLENG!!

MOM

There's a woman I wish I could be like although it is a half of her.

She's the most hard worker, strong, calm, and reasonable person I ever met in my life.

Without her,

I might have turned to be a bad girl or stuck in bad situations forever.

Thank you for teaching me to be strong

and helping me lifting my wings up.







For all the love in the world,

I give it to you.

Love you,

mom.

The way you look at me

I like the way a girl looks for me and call my name when she is standing at the top of the slider.


I like the way she looks at me when she runs to and hide herself from her brother behide me.


I like the way she looks at me when she looks up to me and says, "Please."

I like the way a boy looks at me when he is shaking my arm and say, "Can you carry me?"


I like the way he looks at me when he is asking me for help.


I like the way he looks at me when he opens my room door and says he can not sleep.

Some people say, "Your eyes show your heart."

I don't know if the statement is true for anyone. But for the boy and the girl, their eyes never tell lies to me.




Their eyes tell me they want me to help.

Their eyes tell me that they want shelter.

Their eyes show their trust and love.


That is why I fall in love with the way they look at me.




I don't know what you can see in me,

also not know what way you will look at me.




I am not sure if the statement is true for anyone.

But for me,

if you look into my eyes, you will find something that I don't tell you;

you will see something that never been said;

you will see something I try to hide from you.





Most of all,

if you look into my eyes, call my name;





you will find my heart.

Think Out Loud

Allow me to think out loud for a second.

I just realize that I have only a couple weeks to think about what I should do with my life and make decision.


Actually, I kind of already figure out what I want to do afterward.

But I still have something to think about.




I know that whatever I want to do, I should start doing it as soon as possible.

Life is not that long, once you know what you want to do, so do it. Don't waste time.


Although I always tell myself that, but I still waste my time with hesitating.



This time as well...



I'm thinking...

If whatever I want to do relate to wherever I would be,

and wherever I would be, I have to start everything from the beginning -- move out, find a place to stay and find something to do to afford my life,

so, where should I be?



I'm not sure which direction I should go.

Something is not clear.

That's why I hesitate to take my steps.



I also ask myself with a silly question,

if I stay here, if I do something, if I move, if I blah blah blah....


Would it be worth it?




Because I know life is short, so I just want to be sure

that I would not be regret with things I have done.





So,

where should I start to make a move?

Welcome Back

It is good to spend some time alone.




There's no one to please.

There's no one to take care.

There's no one to think of.

There's no one to care about.



While taking a walk alone among the crowd in a big city, I accept, I felt a little bit lonely and wished there'd be someone to hold my hand and walk with me.


Although, spending time by myself gives me good feeling.


It brings back a part of me which almost faded away.



I see myself smiled to things around.

I see myself laughed at little things.

I see me laughed at myself about dirty mind I had.

I see myself was excited with ideas about planning for things to do and places to visit.

I se myself felt like a little girl ready to explore the world.

Welcome back, Silly Khwan,

a little silly girl inside of me

American Boy

A few people know that I am a bad traveler.

Actually, "traveler" shouldn't be used with me.



When I want to go to any places, I will do some research about the place I'll go, say only the destination and where to stay.

I don't plan about the rest of my trip. I will just try to get to the destination first. Afterward, I just ask for some information from local resource and let my instinct leads the way.


Such a bad and unprepared traveler, aren't I.







When I firstly arrived here, I felt eager to see things around. I planned for every weekends -- where to go, where to eat, what to do and else.

But after spending tiring time here, for some reasons, the eager girl disappears for awhile.

It turns out to be that, during my free time, I don't want to do anything but just lay down on a couch, close my eyes, and get some rest.




What a waste time, I realize.





My vacation is coming in the next two weeks.

Honestly, I don't think about anything but only taking some rest.

If it's Thailand, I would think about going to some beaches, taking a deep breath of the sea wind, and spending some time taking a walk on the beach.




But it is not my home country...

So, allow me to be Estelle and sing a song.





I heard that Cali never rains and New York heart awaits.
First let's see the west end


Can we get away this weekend?
Take me to Broadway.
Let's go shopping, baby, then we'll go to a café.
Let's go on the subway.
Take me to your hood.
I never been to Brooklyn and I'd like to see what's good.


Take me on a trip, I'd like to go some day.
Take me to New York, I'd love to see LA.


Take me on a trip, I'd like to go some day
Take me to Chicago, San Fransisco Bay.


I really want to come kick it with you.
You'll be my American Boy.







Well, the thing is I don't want to sing this to Kanye West.


I'm not gonna be picky and ask for anything much, just ask you to take me a walk in the evening before end up in your cozy arms at night.




So, anyone wanna be my American boy?